


Lost and Found

by yujacheong



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Phasma - Delilah S. Dawson
Genre: Backstory, First Crush, M/M, Mentor/Protégé, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-06 11:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18387713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yujacheong/pseuds/yujacheong
Summary: On Finn and his favorite teacher.Do you ever get over your first crush? Is it even possible?As first crushes go, FN-2187’s is a doozy.





	Lost and Found

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lucymonster](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucymonster/gifts).



Do you ever get over your first crush? Is it even possible?

As first crushes go, FN-2187’s is a doozy. CD-0922 is a teacher aboard the _Finalizer_. He isn’t their only teacher, of course – they have many, and their ranks change a lot over time – but CD-0922 is the only teacher who is not another ageing remnant of the old, overthrown Empire. No, CD-0922 is an orphan like FN-2187 and the rest, and he doesn’t bother to hide it.

“I used to be just like you,” he likes to tell them during breaks and mealtimes. “I used to be just another poor sod left behind and forgotten on a backwater planet. Before the rebels’ war, there was safety. After, only chaos. I had no future. I probably would’ve died before reaching adulthood. Those out-of-touch New Republic elites did nothing for me. It was the First Order that took me in and gave me my purpose. The galaxy needs order; it needs the First Order. The First Order will give you your purpose too.”

What CD-0922 says appears to be true. With unstinting personal dedication and relentless hard work, CD-0922 has indeed grown up to become the glorious First Order stormtrooper captain that FN-2187 and the rest aspire someday to become themselves. He’s an inspiration. He’s living proof of what’s possible.

FN-2187’s crush comes on suddenly, on a day like any other, during afternoon hand-to-hand combat training class. CD-0922 calls for a volunteer, and FN-2187 doesn’t duck behind his peers fast enough and gets picked. CD-0922 uses him to demonstrate a shoulder throw, and FN-2187 is flat on his back on the mat so fast he doesn’t know what hit him. He blinks, shaken, the wind knocked out of him. He doesn’t understand what happened.

But then CD-0922 holds out his hand to help FN-2187 onto his feet. When the palms of their hands touch, callused and warm, FN-2187 knows he is lost.

 

*

 

Years pass, and FN-2187 grows older, grows up. The First Order is growing up too, and more and more of the galaxy has come to support its cause.

That cause, though, exists only in the most abstract of forms to FN-2187. Instead, FN-2187 focuses his ambitions on something – or rather _someone_ – who is actually right there in front of him every single day: CD-0922.

FN-2187 positively _vibrates_ when he is in the presence of CD-0922. Colors seem brighter, and sounds are sharper, more intense. He lives to see CD-0922 smile; he hangs on his every word. He makes every excuse to linger near him. On those occasions CD-0922 chooses to favor FN-2187 with his personal attention, well, that alone is enough to make FN-2187’s _week_.

Always, FN-2187 strives to impress CD-0922. For CD-0922, he will become the best the First Order has to offer.

Becoming the best is difficult, though. There’s lots of competition. He’s not sure if he’ll ever become the best, if he’s honest, but he certainly becomes CD-0922’s favorite pick for hand-to-hand combat demonstrations. No need to call for volunteers anymore; FN-2187 likes to be thrown around the mat…at least when it’s CD-0922 who’s doing it. And he _loves_ the closeness, the almost intimacy of their bodies, the touch of skin on skin, the clean, musky scent of their mingled sweat…

When CD-0922 is given his special suit of crimson stormtrooper armor and the new name “Cardinal,” FN-2187 beams from the audience ranks like it is _he_ who has been honored. Everything he is always known about CD-0922 – no, Cardinal, his name is _Cardinal_ now – is being proven true. And although he tries to be stoic, FN-2187 can tell that Cardinal has never been happier.

Then Phasma appears. That’s the beginning of the end. Shortly thereafter, Cardinal is reassigned to a different vessel, and Phasma takes over the final phase of FN-2187’s training. She despises Cardinal – no one knows why – but FN-2187 can’t help but reveal his true feelings, and she can tell FN-2187 does not share her opinion of Cardinal.

So, she despises FN-2187 too. “You’ll be polishing the durasteel deck plating of every ship in the First Order fleet for the rest of your miserable career,” she tells him.

Oh, how he misses Cardinal. But Cardinal is gone. He might as well be dead.

And in the engineering bowels of some Star Destroyer or another, FN-2187 despairs. He becomes convinced he’ll never be found again.

 

*

 

The days and weeks after the Battle of Crait are a blur. Rose struggles to recover from her injuries; Rey is changed; and the ex-stormtrooper who has learned to call himself Finn barely notices when General Organa says that they are going to meet Archex.

This “Archex” has been put in charge of a sleeper cell where new recruits are sometimes sent if they are deemed in need of basic combat training. There aren’t enough of them to fully replenish the Resistance’s much depleted ranks, but they’ll be a start.

Finn sees the child first. She’s too young to be even a cadet, and he isn’t impressed.

“Torti!” A woman, perhaps the child’s mother or guardian, calls out, and the child scrabbles practically between Finn’s legs in her rush to answer. The woman, at least, has hard eyes which look like they’ve seen action in their lifetime, but with a child in tow—

Then Finn sees the mat and the trainees gathered for what Finn already instinctively knows is a hand-to-hand combat training class. He pushes through the crowd and sees—

CD-0922. No, Cardinal. No, _Archex_. Finn can feel his heart in his throat.

Archex sees him and _recognizes_ him. “Would you help me demonstrate a shoulder throw?” he asks.

Of course he would. Finn approaches and readies himself to be thrown.

“No, no,” Archex says gently, “I’d like you to demonstrate the proper technique _on me_. Unless you’ve forgotten how…?”

He hasn’t, and he’s all too happy to oblige. Archex’s body is strong and solid and warm against Finn’s as he goes down for the count again and again and again, until every trainee on the mat can reproduce the technique to perfection, until he must know how Finn feels about seeing him again after so long, how their closeness makes Finn’s body _respond_.

“You’ve grown,” Archex says to Finn after the class is over. There is humor in his expression, and heat, and his gaze slides downward past Finn’s waistline, making it abundantly clear that he’s not talking about Finn’s height.

They shake hands. Archex squeezes; Finn refuses to let go. They’d been lost, and they’d been found, and later, when they retire for the evening, it’s together.


End file.
